UWWF Match: Knables vs. Sweet Tooth

As Roy and Helen Knable walked through the door of the game show, they sudden find themselves in a professional wrestling arena, with a huge audience cheering them on. The ring's top and bottom ropes were red and the middle rope was white. A huge logo stating "Underworld Wrestling Foundation" (or UWWF for short) was on the center of the ring canvas. Roy and Helen were both wearing white sleeveless leotards that covered their legs (with a gold capital K with golden angel wings on the chest and a golden stripe down their legs), a cheetah print belt, white boots with a golden trim, and gold and white cloaks. Roy wore a gold headband while Helen wore her hair in curly ponytail with a golden scrunchie. As they walked down the aisle, a bell rang three times and Lillian Garcia, the ring announcer, spoke in a microphone.

LILLIAN: The following contest is a three-on-one handicap match scheduled for one-fall! Approaching the ring; From Seattle, Washington, the team of Roy and Helen Knable!

As Roy and Helen cautiously approached the ring, two commentators were chatting.

COMMENTATOR #1: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Underworld Wrestling Foundation! I'm Joey Styles along with my fellow broadcast partner, Tazz and we welcome you to our main event tonight!

TAZZ: That's right, Joey! Tonight is a three-on-one handicap match, no holds barred, no transfusions allowed! Right now, we see two of those three competitors right now: Roy "The Couch Potato" Knable and Helen "The Herridan" Knable! But who's the third guy?

Roy and Helen entered the ring and two people at ringside helped them take off their cloaks.

HELEN: This can't be happening. It has to be a dream.

ROY: Wait, I just heard it's a three-on-one handicap match. Me and you, but who's our partner?

Just then...

"We walk alone in the unknown, we live to win another victory"

An aggressive rock song was playing as a 13-year old boy walked onto the stage. The boy had short blonde hair, wore red frame glasses. He also wore white tights with the same design and belt as Roy and Helen, white boots with golden soles and a capital K on the front, white and gold gloves, white elbow pads, and a white Rugrats T-shirt. He slowly walked to the ring as the crowd cheered him on.

LILLIAN: And their tag team partner; From Seattle, Washington, weighing in at 119 pounds, Darryl Knable!

The mention of that name caused Roy and Helen's eyes to widen in shock.

TAZZ: Darryl Knable? That's Roy and Helen's kid?

JOEY: It has to be!

HELEN (surprise): Darryl?!

ROY: How'd he get here?

Darryl reached the stairs and entered the ring. He, too, was suprised to see his parents.

DARRYL: Mom?! Dad?! What are you doing here?

HELEN: I could easily ask you the same thing, Darryl!

He took off his Rugrats T-shirt and gave it to a nearby crew member.

DARRYL: I honestly don't know why I'm here. All I know is that I was running away from this killer clown whose head is on fire.

ROY (not believing Darryl): A killer as a clown, Darryl? Come on, Darryl.

DARRYL: I'm telling the truth, Dad!

ROY (sarcastically): Yeah, and Pamela Anderson is chasing after me. Wait! Three-on-one. Three of us, one of...whoever we're fighting.

HELEN: But who could it be?

Suddenly the rock music was interrupted by a loud explosion which changed the music to something creepy and somber sounding. This spooked the Knables and Darryl turned around behind him. The explosion cleared up as a large, bald, muscular man wielding a machete arrived onto the stage. He wore white pants with red polka dots tucked in his dark brown boots military-style, dark brown gloves, brown harness-type suspenders, and a white wooden clown mask (the paint was chipping) locked into a permanent maniacal smile with red hair on the sides and his left eye covered. His exposed right eye was red as though he had a shiner. To top it all off, his head was on fire. He menacingly walked down to the ring as the crowd booed him.

LILLIAN: And their opponent; From Midtown, weighing in at 210 pounds, Needles Kane, Sweet Tooth!

DARRYL (raising an eyebrow): Still think I'm lying, Dad?

ROY: Not anymore, Darryl.

Sweet Tooth entered the ring and staring at Darryl menacingly.

SWEET TOOTH: Oh, well, I can use this as an opportunity to weaken you before I gut you.

The music died out. Helen stood in front of Darryl with her arms out.

HELEN: Over my dead body you'll get anywhere near my son!

SWEET TOOTH: We'll see about that.

Sweet Tooth threw his machete out of the ring.

ROY: Helen, Darryl, let me take care of this.

Helen and Darryl walked through the ropes and stood on the apron as the referee called for the match to begin.

SWEET TOOTH: This is gonna be too easy.

Roy approached Sweet Tooth who proceeded to punch Roy in the kidney. Sweet Tooth rebounded Roy off the ropes and struck him with a big boot to the face, knocking him to the floor.

JOEY: A devastating boot by Sweet Tooth!

Sweet Tooth picked up Roy and performed a scoop slam. Darryl, who was near Roy after the slam, decided to tag in.

DARRYL (tags Roy): Come on, Dad. I'm going in.

TAZZ: And there's the tag!

As Darryl prepared to step into the ring, Helen stopped him.

HELEN: Darryl, are you out of your mind?! You'll get maimed out there!

DARRYL: I'm the one he wants, so better me than you two.

Darryl entered the ring and stood face-to-face with Sweet Tooth.

SWEET TOOTH: Oh, look! The little twerp decided to handle things for his father!

Darryl merely responded by repeatedly kicking him in the leg, causing Sweet Tooth to kneel. Darryl ran to ropes, performed a springboard off them and attempted a cross body...only for Sweet Tooth to counter it via a big boot. Helen could only watch in fear as her son got booted down. Sweet Tooth then picked up Darryl and irish whipped him off the ropes. When Darryl rebounded, Sweet Tooth picked him up, turned and slammed him onto the ground.

JOEY: Spinebuster! That could crush your spine!

Darryl slowly got up and once he was on feet, he ran to Sweet Tooth and dropkicked him in shin, causing Sweet Tooth to kneel. Darryl then applied a front headlock and fell backward, landing Sweet Tooth on his head.

TAZZ: That's an effective DDT right there.

Roy and Helen slightly nod, admittedly impressed. Darryl began to pick Sweet Tooth up for another move but as he was doing so, Sweet Tooth swung his arm and struck Darryl in the groin, causing him to yelp in pain and cover his nether-regions as he fell to the ground. The crowd moaned in pain.

JOEY: A blatant cheapshot!

TAZZ: It don't matter, Joey. No holds barred so this legal!

We cut to a fan in the audience holding a sign that read "Ouch!"

WRESTLING FAN: Ow!  

Roy and Helen cringed in pain. Roy covered his groin as well.

HELEN: I'm a WOMAN and I can feel that!

SWEET TOOTH (laughing): I guess you should've wore a cup! Hahahahaha!

HELEN: You son of a bitch!

Sweet Tooth picked up Darryl and held him face-up with back above his head. Since Sweet Tooth's head was on fire, Darryl's bare back ended up touching the flames. This resulted in Darryl screaming in pain.

JOEY: OH MY GOD! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SWEET TOOTH DOING?!

TAZZ: IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRYING TO BURN DARRYL!!!

Helen ran out into the ring and kicked Sweet Tooth in the groin, causing him to drop Darryl, whose back was still on fire.

DARRYL (howling in pain): AAAAAAHHHH!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!

Darryl quickly crawled to a nearby table, grabbed a water bottle, opened it, and poured some water onto his flaming back. The fire created a huge first-degree burn on his back. The commentators were horrified.

JOEY: PURE DEVASTATION BY THIS...BRUTE!!

TAZZ: In all the years I've wrestled, I have NEVER seen anything like this!

Helen ran out the ring, took a damp towel, ran back into the ring with it, and applied pressure to Darryl's scalded back.

HELEN: This should reduce the swelling.

But Sweet Tooth shoved Helen aside and picked up Darryl. He then tossed Darryl into a nearby ring post, shoulder first.
 
ROY: That's gotta hurt!

After Darryl got out of the post, Sweet Tooth picked him up and threw him out of the ring and onto the mat. Sweet Tooth exited the ring and put Darryl onto the table. Sweet Tooth himself climbed onto it, picked up Darryl, grabbed his waist, turning him upside down and held him against torso. Roy and Helen quickly realized what was about to happen and looked on in shock.

ROY: He's gonna piledrive Darryl through the table!

HELEN: What?! That could break his neck!

Sweet Tooth then fell to his knees, driving Darryl's head through the table and into the ground. Roy and Helen (especially the latter) were horrified!

JOEY: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!

TAZZ: RIGHT THROUGH THE DAMN TABLE!!!

HELEN: DARRYL!

Helen leapt off the apron and ran to the unconscious Darryl.

HELEN: Darryl! Speak to me!

Just then, Sweet Tooth grabbed Helen by her ponytail and threw her aside. He then picked up Darryl, but Darryl dished out some punches to the midsection. Darryl stepped back to do a running strike, but Sweet Tooth countered it with a flapjack, ramming Darryl facefirst into the steel barricade. The crowd booed.

ROY (looking away in shock): Owwwwww.....

Darryl slowly got back up and ran into the ring. Sweet Tooth attempted to follow him, but as soon as he got on the apron, Darryl punched him hard in the gut, causing him to stick his head through the middle rope. Darryl stuck Sweet Tooth's head between his legs, jumped up while still clutching his head, and drove Sweet Tooth's head into the mat. The crowd cheered.

JOEY: Amazing!

TAZZ: Spectacular! Darryl struck the clown with his own piledriver!  

Roy cheered Darryl on. Helen had regained her composure and witnessed Darryl's piledriver.

HELEN: Go, Darryl, go!

Darryl attempted to pin Sweet Tooth, but as the ref counted 2, Sweet Tooth kicked out. The crowd booed.

DARRYL (muttering): Come on...

As Darryl attempted to pin Sweet Tooth again, Sweet Tooth grabbed Darryl by the throat. He got up while still goozling Darryl. He lifts him up and slams him to ground.

TAZZ: What a chokeslam!

Helen felt her hair and realized Sweet Tooth mussed it up. She looked at Sweet Tooth, who was waiting for Darryl to get up.

HELEN (angry): My hair!

Then when Darryl finally got up, Sweet Tooth grabbed Darryl by his throat again.

HELEN (even angrier): MY SON!

Helen ran back into the ring and attempted to attack Sweet Tooth, who grabbed her by the throat with his other hand, lifted both up and slammed them both down.

JOEY: Double chokeslam!

Sweet Tooth exited the ring and dug under the apron for an item. He pulled out a large bag and entered the ring again. He stood up and dumped a ton of thumbtacks out of the bag and onto the canvas. He picked up Darryl and shoved him between his legs. As Helen regain consciousness, she saw that Sweet Tooth pulled Darryl up on his shoulders. Then she turned her attention to the tacks.

HELEN (worried): Thumbtacks? Oh, no! He's going to throw Darryl onto them!

Sweet Tooth dropped Darryl onto the thumbtacks, which pierced onto Darryl's back. Darryl was screaming in pain.

JOEY: OH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!

TAZZ: HOLY S#!+! HE JUST GOT POWERBOMBED ONTO THOSE DAMN TACKS!!!!

JOEY: SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH!!! A CHILD GOT BURNED AND THUMBTACKS PIERCING HIS BACK!!!!

Helen was freaking out.

HELEN: Oh my god! DARRYL!!!

Sweet Tooth attempted another powerbomb, but when he dropped Darryl for a pin, Darryl fought back with his legs and put his right leg on Sweet Tooth's throat and wrapped his other leg on the back of his head, trapping Sweet Tooth's left arm inbetween. He grasped the back of Sweet Tooth's head. Darryl had applied a submission hold.

JOEY: HE'S GOT HIM IN SOME KIND OF SUBMISSION HOLD!

Helen and Roy looked on.

HELEN: Whatever you're doing, Darryl, keep doing it!

ROY: Get him good!

Darryl maintained a strong grip on the hold on Sweet Tooth, who was struggling to get out.

TAZZ: He needs to tap to avoid serious injury!

Finally, unable to escape, Sweet Tooth repeatedly tapped on the mat, indicating submission. The referee called for the bell, ending the match. The rock song from earlier played as Darryl released the hold. Roy and Helen both entered the ring and helped Darryl up. The referee grabbed Darryl's hand (grabbing Helen's hand), and Roy's hand and raised them up to a standing ovation from the crowd.

LILLIAN: Here are your winners, Darryl, Helen, and Roy Knable!

After the ref released his grips, Helen and Roy hugged Darryl, congratulating him for the victory.

HELEN: Darryl, thank God you survived!

ROY: And we thought you were a goner!

Darryl stumbled to the ground due to damage he has sustained. Roy and Helen caught him and assisted him in walking.

HELEN: We are taking you to a hospital.

Suddenly, Darryl was struck in the back with a steel chair by Sweet Tooth, knocking him to the floor. The crowd booed.

TAZZ: Wow! Talk about a sore loser!

JOEY: Oh, come on now, the match is over!

With Darryl on the ground, Sweet Tooth repeatedly struck him with a steel chair. Then he struck Roy with the chair square in the face, knocking him out. He then tossed aside the chair and shoved Helen to the ground. He then went into a nearby corner and clutched the two ropes, jerking back and forth as if preparing for a race.

SWEET TOOTH: Get up, you four-eyed son of a bitch!

Darryl was up on all fours. Sweet Tooth released his grip, ran, and punted Darryl straight in the head.

JOEY: What a despicable punt!

Helen had witnessed the event and beat the ever-loving tar out of Sweet Tooth.

TAZZ: Looks like Sweet Tooth pissed off Mama Bear!

Then, the Gorgons ran into the ring and attacked Helen, beating her to the ground.

SWEET TOOTH (to Helen): Messin' with the wrong clown! (to Gorgons) Finish her!

But before they could, Helen sprung up, sending the Gorgons flying out of the ring. She then looked at Sweet Tooth with a mad look in her eye. She then proceeded to slug Sweet Tooth right in the Adam's Apple, knocking him down.

JOEY: What a devastating shot by Helen!

The crowd chanted Darryl's name as Helen attempted to get Darryl conscious.

CROWD (chanting): DARRYL! DARRYL! DARRYL!

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HELEN: Darryl! Darryl! Wake up!

We are now in Darryl's room in real world Seattle, 12:30 A.M. Helen was shaking Darryl's body as he was having a dream. Helen was clad in a white nightgown with a large pink robe with her hair in a ponytail. Darryl leapt up in fright and put on his glasses, only to quickly calm down at the sight of his mother.

DARRYL (relieved): Oh, it's only you, Mom.

HELEN: You seem to be having a bad dream and you were yelling to yourself and I just wanted to check up on you.

DARRYL: I had this dream where you, me, and Dad were wrestlers going up against this clown named Sweet Tooth. We won but...

Darryl held his head, wincing in pain.

HELEN: Darryl, what's wrong? Are you okay?

DARRYL: I feel like I got kicked in the head and I feel so bandaged up.

HELEN (thinking to herself): Well...you fell off your bike.

DARRYL: I don't remember that happening.

HELEN: You probably suffered a concussion.

Just then, Roy appeared holding something. He wore a grey shirt with the sleeves rolled up and blue boxer shorts.

ROY: What happened?

HELEN (to Roy): Darryl had this bizarre dream where we were wrestling against a clown.

Just then, Darryl noticed what was in his father's hand. It was a machete, identical to the one Sweet Tooth held.

DARRYL (puzzled): Uh, Dad? What's with the blade?

ROY (caught by surprise): Well...I..uh-

HELEN (interrupting): He just made it as a decoration for the garage.

DARRYL (not entirely convinced): O...kay....

He then looked down to see himself wearing a Rugrats shirt, identical to the one he wore in the dream.

HELEN (laying Darryl back down and tucking him in, not wanting him to get suspicious): I think you just need to get some sleep, honey.

Helen took off his glasses and kissed him on the cheek.

HELEN: Good night, Darryl.

Roy left for his room. Helen turned off the light in Darryl's room and shut his door, following Roy.

As Darryl lied in bed, he began to think. The bandages, the pain in his head, the Rugrats T-shirt, the machete Roy was holding...he began to wonder if the dream he had was real or not. But he also remembered that Helen told him not to worry about it, so he just shrugged his shoulders and went back to sleep...

Meanwhile, back in Roy and Helen's room, Roy was putting the machete near their TV and prepared to go back to bed. Helen entered and shut the door, giving Roy an annoyed look.

HELEN (annoyed): Why did you have to bring that machete into his room, Roy?

ROY: I wasn't really paying attention!

HELEN: Well, you're lucky I covered for you or Darryl would have found out! The bandages and Rugrats shirt already made him suspicious!

ROY: Don't make a big fuss of this, Helen. As long as he doesn't know, everything's all right.

HELEN (calming down): Well, I guess you're right. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Helen sat on the left side of the bed while Roy sat on the right.

ROY (jokingly): Do you think Darryl would make a good wrestler?

Helen rolled her eyes.

HELEN (deadpan): Wait another ten years, Roy...

Helen went under the covers and Roy followed suit.

HELEN: Good night, Roy.

ROY: Night, Helen.

Helen turned off the lamp. We now cut to outside the Knable home, 1532 Blue Jay Court where a mysterious figure stood in a front of it.

???: One of these days, Knables. I will get what's rightfully mine!

The figure stepped into a large ice cream truck with polka dots, machine guns on each side, and a large clown head. He started the ignition, and we now see the face of the figure, which is Sweet Tooth.

SWEET TOOTH: ONE OF THESE DAYS!!!

Sweet Tooth laughed maniacally as he drove off into the night.

So let me ask this...was it all really a dream? You be the judge.

THE END.